He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
