Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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