Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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