he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
