My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
