i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
