Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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