Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
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