she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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