Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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