I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
