I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
