So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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