she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
