Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
