She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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