i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
