When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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