glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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