You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
