Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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