wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
