Umm I'm too high to move.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
