who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
