never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
