When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
