I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
