dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
