hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
