Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
