true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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