you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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