You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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