So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
