Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
