I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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