So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We left the knife in your bed.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
