That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
