why didn't you poke me back
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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