just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
