She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Randomize
