i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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