Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
