butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We left the knife in your bed.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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