We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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