problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
