This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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