Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
