I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
