I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
