it's too hot outside to masturbate.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Randomize
