I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
