She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
