she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Pooping to opera.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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