so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
it was like eating out sand paper
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
