1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
